by Nathaniel Hawthorne
I was assigned to read "The Scarlet Letter," and I just now finished it, 42 years late. While I realize this is a Great Classic with Big Themes (nature of sin, redemption, collusion with evil, etc.), this book hasn't improved with age, experience, or an M.A. in literature. I don't know if Mr. Peltier will still accept my paper (or if he's even still alive), but FWIW:
Four Reasons Why I Hate The Scarlet Letter
By Jean
1. Chapter 1, The Custom House. I realize this is a kind of "stage setting," meant to give Important Context and all, but does it have to go on and on like that? If you are assigned to read this book for a class, skip it and read it AFTER the rest of the novel. Otherwise, you'll end up procrastinating this assignment for four decades like I did.
2. Archaic language. Hawthorne didn't use all these "betwixts," "prithees," and "perchances" when he talked to his friends. And if he did, I'm sure even in his day friends didn't let friends talk like that. It seems fake. It IS fake, though maybe Hawthorne thought it was quaint. But it makes the characters seem distant and tiresome.
3. Pearl. Did Hawthorne actually know any three-year-old children? They are not fey and intuitive. They poop their pants, pitch fits, and break stuff.
4. The scarlet letter. There is so much touching and fondling and reference to the scarlet letter that I felt Hawthorne should have been turned into some committee for the abuse of a perfectly good literary symbol.
That's all the time I'm taking in this life on this book.
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