I get nursing tips from Virginia Woolf's mom

Notes from a Sick Room ****
by Julia Prinsep Stephen

Not a book but a remarkable essay by Julia Prinsep Stephen, Virginia Woolf's mother, who, like many women of her generation (ca 1885) were called in to nurse friends and neighbors. My grandmothers, through the 1930s and '40s, also nursed people at home through childbirth, illness, and death, but as the 20th century advanced, it was more typical to move sick people to hospitals.

As end-of-life care moves back into the home and as hospital stays shorten, requiring more people to have help while they recuperate in their own beds, Stephen's essay makes essential reading.

A surprising amount of Stephen's advice is still practical and useful. When my dad was in hospice care, the nurse showed me the same bed- and clothes-changing techniques Stephen describes. Dad's nurse also showed the same concern for the dignity and comfort of the body. Stephen's helpful description of keeping a nursing diary in case the doctor needs to be called in is essential for any caregiver today. And her attention to detail (crumbs in the bed and wrinkles in the bottom sheet that can cause chafing, how to comb hair, and the soothing use of rosewater in a sponge bath) shows how much old wisdom the nursing profession still retains.


Less useful (but nonetheless interesting) is Stephen's recipe for beef tea and jelly, instructions for selecting a practical bed jacket, and different ways to set up a candle as a nightlight (though her description of a candle in a china basin that will not glare, but create a "lovely globe of light on the ceiling" does sound very restful).

Before I recreate the whole damn essay here, let me say that what is most charming about Stephen's piece is her introduction to readers who might be hinky about caring for the sick. She notes how easy it is, on routine days, for us to criticize our friends and relations for the way they raise their kids, blow their money, or dress themselves. But she observes that when faced with helplessness, our pettiness and resentments leave us. Stephen elevates what has traditionally been (and largely still is) women's work in the sick room. And she sees it not only as a duty, but a privilege.

You can read this book free through Google books.